(photo by me)
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I wanted to write about dealing with grief over the holidays. This time of year can be really sad and unbearable if you have had a loss. Especially when you see so many happy people - it can magnify your grief. I have a lot of clients right now working through grief and I am more aware of it as it is coming up a lot.
The first thing you need is to be gentle with yourself when you are grieving the loss of a loved one. All that really means is to go slow and steady. If you feel overwhelmed slow down, take things out of your schedule and listen to your instincts. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief and it is all okay. Some people choose to not celebrate holidays and that's okay too. Some people want to be with others, some people want to be alone. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. This is where trusting your instincts comes in handy. Listening to your instincts involves getting really quiet in your mind and body and just listening for your inner voice.
Ask for help if needed and accept help from people who care about you. This is a tough one for people (the asking for help) but I totally encourage it. Sometime your friends or family don't know how to help and you may think they are avoiding you. Letting them know what you need will help you out and hopefully get you much needed support.
Find support. Look to support groups or to people you know that have experienced a similar loss. Talk to a therapist, your family, your friends. Write in a journal or make a collage of your sadness and grief. You need to talk and express whats going on and sometimes it helps to talk with people who understand what you are going through.
Remember that things will get better and you will make it through. I don't say that to minimize grief because I know how huge it can be. Sometimes the only way through the grief is one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
3 comments:
Hi Robin
My step-daughter Michelle has just been diagnosed with ALS. My grief is just starting as I will lose her piece by piece. She is a beautiful mother of two boys and a husband that adores her, She has been given a very brutal death sentence. 2 years.......
So sorry to hear that Tisha - its a terrible disease.
Robin, this is an excellent article. The timing is perfect as many who have experienced a loss this year can dread the holidays. Your insight is appreciated.
Tisha, take care. That is a devastating disease.
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